I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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