I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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