Kiss
Puke
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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