Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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