I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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