You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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