He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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