Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
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Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
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Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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