I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize