The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize