And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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