please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
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just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
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He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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