So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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