is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish you could order shots online.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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