Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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