There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Never underestimate the power of titties
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