very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize