i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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