I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize