I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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