I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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