how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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