I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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