whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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