You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize