So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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