You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize