This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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