Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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