I'm going to jail i love you
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize