Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
whose ass print is on the piano?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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