I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
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Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
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I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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