Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We just shotgunned beers for America
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize