why didn't you poke me back
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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