did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize