forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize