...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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