sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
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I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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