One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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