I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize