either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize