while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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