remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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