I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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