I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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