Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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