I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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