you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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