Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize