will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize