does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize