in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
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You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
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Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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