he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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