Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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