she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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